Days We Have was the first song I wrote after we finished The Ascenders EP. The timing of the EP production was within literal days of Anthony’s mom dying, May 3, 2014.

The verse melody to “Days” came as we drove home from Georgia. We’d just experienced our first funeral for a parent. It was my husband's Mom and I loved her deeply and there were so many emotions swirling around in our hearts. Time seemed to have stopped. We stopped after pushing hard for ten months to get momentum going for our first official attempt at releasing music with our first official band, The Ascenders. So many people had rallied with us. My music partner was reeling but we decided to come back in town and green light the EP not knowing what recovery from a parent's death would be like. It was quickly obvious that things were going to change, our plans were going to change. You don’t have a lot of energy to dream or run after you get that kind of knock out punch.

Linda called the night before she went in for what seemed like a low risk heart procedure. I remember saying I love you and catching up briefly. It seemed routine, a day in the life, not anything to take special notice of, we would talk again soon. It was the last conversation Anthony and I had with her. It haunts me. I wish I’d stopped, paid attention and asked questions… “What are you doing in the hospital again?” “Should we come down?” “How are you really?” Or said… “You mean so much to us Linda. Thank you for loving Anthony well and pursuing our kids the way you do. There is no one else like you. You are a treasure and a gift to our family.”

We got a call two days later that she was in critical condition and that we needed to consider coming to say goodbye. She was not able to speak, she was in terrible shape. It was traumatic. I regret not taking more time on the phone with her. Not paying more attention. She had diabetes and heart issues that we’d been tracking with but did not understand the full scope of. She tended to withhold information about her condition with us. Everything was always fine and optimistic. We didn’t often know the severity of her situation. We were the place she came to be grandma, mom and free spirit to rules or concern. I felt so stupid.

We’d had a frank conversation with Anthony’s sisters, probably a year before she died about Linda’s health. Finding out what was really going on made me mad. I’d become resentful towards her and hadn’t pursued her a ton following that conversation. I regret that immensely. Terri Lynn, Ant’s oldest sister, has a five year rule that I now employ “...if it won’t matter in five years, just let it go.” It’s such good advice.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I thought we had more time. I would have asked forgiveness for shutting Linda out. Now we have shadows, glimpses, memories of days we had, that’ve come to an end. I really do still hear her laughter in my head. And life will never be the same because there never will be anyone like her.

So here we are, coming back from hiatus. It’s been about seven years since we’ve released anything. The Ascenders band has been retired. I have some new music to slowly release under Jenny Ayers which I'm excited about.

I do want to give special mention to Anthony Ayers for co-producing Days We Have. He had the vision for the killer synths, bass and drum loops. Special credit also to Coalo Zamorano for engineering vocals and mixing the song tracks for us.

In upcoming news our family band, The House of Ayers will be releasing music later this year. Our kids play music with us now and that feels amazing.

We hope you enjoy what’s coming. Let us know by liking, commenting or sharing our posts. It helps spread the word.

Thank you for your support!

JA

DAYS WE HAVE / / LYRICS

VERSE 1

This past fortnight has been in slow motion

If I had known that was our last conversation

I would have said everything

VERSE 2

A tidal wave of complex emotion

Descending upon every moment we ever had

And I can’t breath

CHORUS

Oh these shadows, glimpses, memories

Of days we had

They’ve come to an end

And life will never be the same

Cause your not here and they’ll never be

Anyone like you, like you

VERSE 3

I’ll miss you most when it comes to Christmas

I’ll miss your love and matchless presence

Leather vests and mountains of treats

CHANNEL

Now all I can hear is your laughter

BRIDGE

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye

I thought we had more time

I would have asked your forgiveness

For shutting you out

VERSE 4

Full of grand luxe and gospel mission

Like Georgia clay and knock out roses

That stubborn sweet, brave and spicy

NOTE: Jenny Ayers music is available on all major listening platforms including Spotify, Apple and Amazon.